I just want all of you to know that for the first time in a long time, I'm actually in good physical shape. I've been swimming, biking, hiking, playing soccer, playing ultimate frizbee, and even jogging here and there. O.k., I admit that I've been training for the upcoming mini-triathlon. Now that my ultra-competitive older (and some younger) siblings are in situations that keep them from being in optimal shape, I started to feel like I might actually have a chance at beating them in a competition for the first time in my life.
But then I remembered something about my older brothers' and older and younger sisters' characters. (1) I remembered being in Tai Kwon Do classes for two years and yet still not being able to land a single punch on Swen. (2) I reminiced on all of the impromptu, "casual" vollyball games when Alexis or Allie would dive and dig over and over again, sacrificing their bodies for the win. (3) I recall balking every time Mike would burst past me at the speed of light, repeatedly, to nab the impossible catch of a frizbee.
I have a sinking suspicion that, despite being in great cardiovascular shape, I'm still gonna lose this one. I know that if any of you see me in front of you, some gene-switch that I wasn't born with will turn on, and you'll pass me. And if I start to catch up, your brain will send the signal to release that secret store of adrenaline that most people save for near-death experiences, and I will be left in your proverbial dust.
Oh well. Maybe one day your joints will all be ground down enough, or you'll be pregnant enough, or busy enough to let your poor non-competitive brother win a race. But I have a hunch that this year isn't going to be the one where that happens. Anyway, go easy on me guys. :)
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4 comments:
You will have more than just a chance bro! I'm impressed that you have been training. I suspect age and lack of shape will play a factor in my own race. However, the biggest problem I face is how I'm going to beat anyone when I have to use Jacob's bike. :)
I will admit that I have secured a wet-suit for the swim. I figure the lake could freeze most people into slowing down so that I can avert being last.
I have faith in you, Sam. Don't look back.
I died laughing when I read this, so I read it again . . . and died again. Hilarious, Sam! Hilarious! I think I pulled a stomach muscle and won't be able to participate!
Wait -
I didn't pull a tummy muscle - I'm just loosing my tummy muscle to a baby! Either way, I'll be photographing this competative race, as my sick and tired self is not prepared to race. Se-la-vie!
Rooting for the rest of ya!!!
Yes...aghem, my tummy is feeling weird too...?....
Well, I'm the return missionary who drank a liter of orange juice a day and walked all day in the South American summer heat, so I'm supposed to be in some sort of "shape". BUT, here's the bottom line, URUGUAY IS NOT UTAH!
Hilarious Sam, truely. I myself will expect some freak accident like my goggles snapping and flying down my throat... or something.
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